B\u0259s sevgi?..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ax\u015fam g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fc el\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, h\u0259tta ulduzlar da g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc. El\u0259 qat\u0131 bir qaranl\u0131q hakim k\u0259silmi\u015fdi ki, sanki yerl\u0259 g\u00f6y birl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. \u00c7\u00fcnki yerd\u0259 d\u0259 qat\u0131 duman var idi. M\u0259n bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259nin i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimin s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir k\u0259nara burax\u0131b g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ucuna zill\u0259mi\u015fdim. Sanki b\u00fct\u00fcn bu an\u0131n g\u00fcnahkar\u0131 ayaqlar\u0131m idi. Amma…<\/p>\n
Bel\u0259 bir m\u00fcdrik k\u0259lam var. Aqill\u0259r deyib ki, \u00fcr\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259n yer\u0259 ayaq y\u00fcyr\u0259k ged\u0259r. Dem\u0259li, bu qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n hakim k\u0259sildiyi gec\u0259 m\u0259nim n\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimin, n\u0259 d\u0259 aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ist\u0259yi idi. Bu, sad\u0259c\u0259 pay\u0131z f\u0259slinin bir \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fc q\u0131\u015fa do\u011fru atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir add\u0131m idi. V\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 pay\u0131z\u0131n yarpaq t\u00f6k\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7imd\u0259 \u00fcy\u00fcd\u0259-\u00fcy\u00fcd\u0259, yadda\u015f\u0131mda yarpaq-yarpaq ovuda-ovuda n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259yimi, n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259yimi q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131rmaq ist\u0259yirdim. Lakin al\u0131nm\u0131rd\u0131, g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131, el\u0259 bil ki, \u0259lim-qolum ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, el\u0259 bil ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu idi. Bir anl\u0131q d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonunun yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131na inand\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259, h\u0259tta avara, sahibsiz k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 itl\u0259rinin d\u0259 s\u0259si g\u0259lmirdi ki, h\u0259yat \u0259lam\u0259ti hiss ed\u0259ydim. S\u00fckut v\u0259 qaranl\u0131qdan ba\u015fqa bu an\u0131ma he\u00e7 n\u0259 h\u00f6km ed\u0259 bilmirdi. Bird\u0259n…<\/p>\n
Telefonuma z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi. Sanki qaranl\u0131qda q\u0131\u011f\u0131lc\u0131m \u00e7axd\u0131. Dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131q, \u0259hvalla\u015fd\u0131q v\u0259 soru\u015fdum ki, s\u0259sin d\u0259 q\u0259ribdi, \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 yad adam kimi dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan. N\u0259 olub, n\u0259 ba\u015f verib? Sual ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda lal olsan da, amma d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc deyim ki, bu telefon z\u0259ngi bir azca \u00fcmid oldu, bir azca i\u015f\u0131q oldu, bir azca ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ipucu verdi. V\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 anlatd\u0131 ki, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu deyil. Bax, m\u0259n d\u0259 bu an\u0131n ovqat\u0131n\u0131 el\u0259 telefona p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bir azca t\u0259nhal\u0131q var,<\/p>\n
bir azca da inciklik…<\/p>\n
Bir az da uzaq durub –<\/p>\n
axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z dinclik!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bu bir azlar m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259<\/p>\n
s\u0259ssizc\u0259 s\u0131xar ruhu…<\/p>\n
\u00dcr\u0259k ke\u00e7ir c\u0259ngin\u0259 –<\/p>\n
h\u0259mi d\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131r yuxu…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bir az fikir dola\u015f\u0131r,<\/p>\n
bir az da x\u0259yal k\u00fcs\u00fcr…<\/p>\n
N\u0259 dinir, n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r –<\/p>\n
h\u0259tta divar da susur…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
…Bir azca s\u0259sin g\u0259l\u0259,<\/p>\n
\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 bir az yax\u0131n…<\/p>\n
Onda siz p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259n –<\/p>\n
bir azca m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131n!..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
B\u0259li, bu misralar\u0131 yaza-yaza i\u00e7imd\u0259 ba\u015f qald\u0131ran bir sual var. \u00dcz-\u00fcz\u0259 dayan\u0131ram. O sual da zamanla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Y\u0259ni insan ovqat\u0131 zamandan qidalan\u0131r. Hadis\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n b\u0259hr\u0259l\u0259nir. Bax, bu \u00fczd\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259n bir an\u0131n p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 pay\u0131z\u0131n q\u0131\u015f qap\u0131s\u0131nda dayanmas\u0131ndan bir sar\u0131 yarpaq kimi d\u0259rdim. V\u0259 ovcumdan s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n o sar\u0131 yarpaq m\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6t\u0259n, art\u0131q tarixl\u0259\u015f\u0259n bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259si oldu. Dem\u0259li, B\u0130R G\u00dcN d\u0259 ke\u00e7di. El\u0259 bu s\u00f6z\u00fcn arxa qat\u0131nda m\u0259\u015fhur bir filmimizin ad\u0131 da yadda\u015f\u0131mda t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259ndi. \u015e\u0259xs\u0259n m\u0259nim sev\u0259-sev\u0259 izl\u0259diyim \u201cG\u00fcn ke\u00e7di\u201d filmi. O filmin q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131 Oqtay\u0131n (y\u0259ni ba\u015f rolun ifa\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 H\u0259s\u0259n M\u0259mm\u0259dov) v\u0259 bir d\u0259 \u018fsm\u0259rin (Leyla \u015e\u0131xlinskaya) yaratd\u0131qlar\u0131 s\u0259hn\u0259 bir h\u0259yat ger\u00e7\u0259kliyidir, birp\u0259rd\u0259li, hardasa il\u011f\u0131m\u0131 xat\u0131rladan uzaq bir sevginin \u0259ks-s\u0259das\u0131d\u0131r. H\u0259min o g\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ind\u0259 o uzaq sevgi biz\u0259 yax\u0131n g\u0259lir, biziml\u0259 t\u0259mas qurur v\u0259 uzaqdan g\u0259ldiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, il\u011f\u0131m oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, zaman\u0131nda qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131q almad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yen\u0259 qo\u015fulur ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcn\u0259. Bel\u0259c\u0259, B\u0130R G\u00dcN \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 bir sevgini d\u0259 apar\u0131r. Sizi dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m, m\u0259n g\u00fcn ke\u00e7di dey\u0259 bilir\u0259m, amma sevgi ke\u00e7di dey\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Ax\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcn ke\u00e7m\u0259si ay\u0131n, h\u0259ft\u0259nin, ilin, konkret \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc zaman k\u0259siyini \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 apar\u0131r, yenil\u0259yir, amma ger\u00e7\u0259k sevgini zaman al\u0131b apara bilmir. Onu ya na\u011f\u0131la, ya da dastana \u00e7evirir. V\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131r. M\u0259n d\u0259 bu ya\u015fam\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcn ke\u00e7m\u0259sini ist\u0259mir\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki insan durdu\u011fu yerd\u0259, oturdu\u011fu yerd\u0259, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, oldu\u011fu yerd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259sdiql\u0259y\u0259 bilirs\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fc oldu\u011funa \u00e7evr\u0259ni inand\u0131ra bilirs\u0259, o yeri, o \u00e7evr\u0259ni d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k he\u00e7 vaxt a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131n ucundan da ke\u00e7m\u0259yib. Bunu ona g\u00f6r\u0259 x\u00fcsusi vur\u011fulay\u0131ram ki, bir b\u0259nd\u0259 olaraq h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 olub-ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259, i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyamda, yadda\u015f kart\u0131mda saxlama\u011fa, ya\u015fatma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam v\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131ram.<\/p>\n
Bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir hadis\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131m. Yan\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u00fcb-ke\u00e7diyim m\u0259scidin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir anl\u0131q dayan\u0131b \u0259limi Tanr\u0131ya a\u00e7\u0131b d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n dostlar, do\u011fmalar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn adbaad dua etdim. Duan\u0131 dinl\u0259y\u0259n \u0259n yax\u0131n\u0131m titr\u0259k s\u0259sl\u0259 dedi ki, dem\u0259li, dostlar\u0131n\u0131n \u0259ks\u0259riyy\u0259ti art\u0131q k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 o dostlar ki, onlar s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn al\u0131nmaz qala idil\u0259r. S\u00f6zl\u0259ri s\u00f6z, \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259tl\u0259ri d\u0259 yerind\u0259\u2026<\/p>\n
Bu, ger\u00e7\u0259kdi. V\u0259 m\u0259n ger\u00e7\u0259yi bir daha etiraf edim ki, h\u0259tta o dostlar\u0131m\u0131n mobil n\u00f6mr\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 telefonumdan silinm\u0259yib. V\u0259 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 h\u0259min n\u00f6mr\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n dostlar\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131n hans\u0131 biri z\u0259ng vuranda m\u0259n yenid\u0259n dostlar\u0131m\u0131n s\u0259sini yenid\u0259n e\u015fitm\u0259k \u00fcmidi il\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131ram telefonu, qo\u015fuluram x\u0259tt\u0259.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A\u011fl\u0131ma y\u00fcz fikir taxd\u0131m<\/p>\n
Saqqala, h\u0259m b\u0131\u011fa baxd\u0131m…<\/p>\n
Baxd\u0131qca \u0259ridi vaxt\u0131m –<\/p>\n
G\u00fcn ke\u00e7di…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
S\u0259sl\u0259ndim, \u00e7atmad\u0131 s\u0259sim<\/p>\n
K\u00fcl\u0259k deyildim ki, \u0259sim!..<\/p>\n
Ayaq tutanda h\u0259v\u0259sim –<\/p>\n
G\u00fcn ke\u00e7di…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Xald\u0131 dizimd\u0259 d\u00f6y\u0259n\u0259k<\/p>\n
Sin\u0259md\u0259 yumruq – d\u0259y\u0259n\u0259k…<\/p>\n
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck… b\u0259lk\u0259 b\u0259y\u0259n\u0259k?! –<\/p>\n
G\u00fcn ke\u00e7di…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
S\u0259nd\u0259n sevgini umunca<\/p>\n
\u00d6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn ad\u0131n duyunca…<\/p>\n
G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131b-yumunca –<\/p>\n
G\u00fcn ke\u00e7di!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00c7axmaq g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n fitildim,<\/p>\n
O q\u0259d\u0259r zaman itirdim…<\/p>\n
Bu \u015feri yaz\u0131b bitirdim-<\/p>\n
G\u00fcn ke\u00e7di!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bir \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u00fc, gec\u0259si d\u0259 var, g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fc d\u0259, xeyiri d\u0259 var, \u015f\u0259ri d\u0259, sevinci d\u0259 var, k\u0259d\u0259ri d\u0259, olumu da var, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc\u00a0 d\u0259. Amma bu \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u0259n \u00f6n\u0259mlisi olum v\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fc. \u00c7\u00fcnki biri il\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131b o biri il\u0259 d\u0259 bitirik. V\u0259 h\u0259r ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcn d\u0259 bizi ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131cdan bit\u0259c\u0259yimiz yer\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259yin ki, m\u0259n yen\u0259 yaz\u0131n\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259lind\u0259 xat\u0131rlatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m aqill\u0259rimizin deyimini yada salmayacam. Yox, dem\u0259s\u0259m nam\u0259rdlik olar. Ax\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
Dedim ki, \u00fcr\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259n yer\u0259 ayaq y\u00fcyr\u0259k ged\u0259r.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Az\u0259rbaycan.media\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" B\u0259s sevgi?.. Ax\u015fam g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fc el\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, h\u0259tta ulduzlar da g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc. El\u0259 qat\u0131 bir qaranl\u0131q hakim k\u0259silmi\u015fdi ki, sanki yerl\u0259 g\u00f6y birl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. \u00c7\u00fcnki yerd\u0259 d\u0259 qat\u0131 duman var… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":64577,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57204"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57204\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":64578,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57204\/revisions\/64578"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/64577"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/odlar.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}